How can I deal with my depression and the feelings that come with it?
I am 16 years old and I do have mild depression. However, my depression intensifies when me and my boyfriend fight. When we do I get severely depressed and I do have suicidal thoughts, although I don’t like that I do. I always consider suicide a relief, in case I do get overly upset then I can simply just do it and be done with it. I suppose I am very jealous of girls who talk to my boyfriend, and I recently got him to quit his pornography addiction, which made me feel very sick and sad. I don’t know what to do. I have been on medication before but got off because I didn’t like the effects it had on me. I am considering therapy, but am a little nervous about the thought of telling my most personal thoughts to a stranger. What should I do with my depression and the thoughts I get from it?
I think that you could benefit a lot from therapy. Obviously, it’s hard to judge exactly what is going on in your life from one paragraph, and a therapist will know what questions to ask to help you figure out how to feel better. It is a little intimidating to spill your guts to someone you don’t know, but most therapists will understand your inhibitions and help you open up to them. You may even need to try different therapists until you find one you are really comfortable with, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
As far as medication, it can help a lot. There are many antidepressants out there, with different potential side effects. If they think it would benefit you, a therapist will help you find an antidepressant that works and minimizes your side effects. You should be careful though. It’s rare but not unheard of, especially for younger people, to attempt suicide not long after starting medication. It’s not known exactly why medications can cause the effect. There are some theories, but they’re only speculation. A good therapist will discuss this risk with you before prescribing anything.
Now I’m going to give my honest opinion. Of course, your therapy will give you better insight than an internet stranger will, so if you don’t like what I have to say, don’t worry.
Your relationship doesn’t sound healthy to me. You’re too young to be in a relationship that controls your life so much, and it doesn’t sound like you feel secure. He looks at porn, and maybe it makes you wonder why he needs to look at other women. You might wonder why you’re not enough for him.
If you feel like you’re not good enough for him, it could make you too worried about losing him to be happy with having him. In most cases, it shouldn’t bother you if he talks to other girls. There are some exceptions, and if any of these are the case, you should seriously consider whether or not you want to be with him. If he is flirty with these girls, goes out of his way to talk to them in front of you, or otherwise seems to be playing on your jealousy, that’s wrong. If he’s totally oblivious to your feelings, that’s not good either. Whatever is the case, I don’t think your boyfriend is making you happy.
Talk with a therapist. If talking about your feelings and/or medication help your jealousy and negative thoughts, that’s great. But it’s pretty likely that this relationship isn’t good for you, and you should think about what life would be like without a boyfriend. I certainly don’t know enough to advise you, but I do want to prepare you for the idea that breaking up with him may be the best thing for you. If that’s the case, being single isn’t so bad. I was in relationships for about half of my high school years, and in retrospect, I had a lot more fun when I didn’t have relationships to worry about, especially stressful relationships. You may find the same relief.
So, go for the therapy. You’ll be nervous at first, but you may be surprised at how good it feels to talk to someone who knows the right questions to ask. Good luck.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:06 pm
My dear medication is the only way out initially and then you have to gradually phase out the medication with therapy but NEVER get off medication till you feel you can handle youself
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October 1st, 2009 at 11:51 pm
when these thoughts came in your mind totally divert your mind get out to play and any game or start watching your favorate show or play video games it will be automatically diverted by these things..also woke up early in the morning and do a little meditation or just take a walk in the park..but making your mind busy via playing a video game or watching t.v or just going outside and play a little baseball can make you feel better try it you will definately feel better..
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October 2nd, 2009 at 12:17 am
Speak with your family physician about different types of medication for depression. Be patient with the meds, it usually takes about 3 months to feel the full effect of it, so don’t give up hope. I have anxiety and it took a year to find a med that worked for me. Also, exercise. No joke. Just start taking a walk or jog every day or every other day. It really helps you feel better though it may sound silly.
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October 2nd, 2009 at 1:06 am
Hello!
I go to a therapist for social anxiety and depression, they are the best people to communicate this subject to as they are more understanding of the issues and problems that go with it so are more able to help you faster.
Emotions and stress cause moodiness and anxiety that promotes depression, thats why when there is an issue like you and boyfriend fighting you become more depressed.
Suicidal thoughts are a tendency common to depression and a sense of worthlessness, so it is suggested to most people to eat regularly, get on a regular sleeping pattern, meditating or stress relief exercises, and being more creative and getting more sunlight!
As far as your boyfriend is concerned it does not sound like a good relationship for you to continue in when it causes depression and suicidal thoughts when you fight.
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personal experience, went to and continue seeing a therapist
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:37 am
I think that you could benefit a lot from therapy. Obviously, it’s hard to judge exactly what is going on in your life from one paragraph, and a therapist will know what questions to ask to help you figure out how to feel better. It is a little intimidating to spill your guts to someone you don’t know, but most therapists will understand your inhibitions and help you open up to them. You may even need to try different therapists until you find one you are really comfortable with, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
As far as medication, it can help a lot. There are many antidepressants out there, with different potential side effects. If they think it would benefit you, a therapist will help you find an antidepressant that works and minimizes your side effects. You should be careful though. It’s rare but not unheard of, especially for younger people, to attempt suicide not long after starting medication. It’s not known exactly why medications can cause the effect. There are some theories, but they’re only speculation. A good therapist will discuss this risk with you before prescribing anything.
Now I’m going to give my honest opinion. Of course, your therapy will give you better insight than an internet stranger will, so if you don’t like what I have to say, don’t worry.
Your relationship doesn’t sound healthy to me. You’re too young to be in a relationship that controls your life so much, and it doesn’t sound like you feel secure. He looks at porn, and maybe it makes you wonder why he needs to look at other women. You might wonder why you’re not enough for him.
If you feel like you’re not good enough for him, it could make you too worried about losing him to be happy with having him. In most cases, it shouldn’t bother you if he talks to other girls. There are some exceptions, and if any of these are the case, you should seriously consider whether or not you want to be with him. If he is flirty with these girls, goes out of his way to talk to them in front of you, or otherwise seems to be playing on your jealousy, that’s wrong. If he’s totally oblivious to your feelings, that’s not good either. Whatever is the case, I don’t think your boyfriend is making you happy.
Talk with a therapist. If talking about your feelings and/or medication help your jealousy and negative thoughts, that’s great. But it’s pretty likely that this relationship isn’t good for you, and you should think about what life would be like without a boyfriend. I certainly don’t know enough to advise you, but I do want to prepare you for the idea that breaking up with him may be the best thing for you. If that’s the case, being single isn’t so bad. I was in relationships for about half of my high school years, and in retrospect, I had a lot more fun when I didn’t have relationships to worry about, especially stressful relationships. You may find the same relief.
So, go for the therapy. You’ll be nervous at first, but you may be surprised at how good it feels to talk to someone who knows the right questions to ask. Good luck.
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Four years of high school, two years of college, twenty years of life.
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:51 am
Have you considered taking St John’s Wort,,it’s an herb,,it’s fantanstic for depression. I lived with a guy (my husband) who was terribly depressed after having lost a great job. He got severe,,,wouldn’t even open mail. Then he learned about St Johns wort,,,started taking it and started acting like his old self,,within 4 or 5 weeks,,,(the stuff takes a while due to absorbtion time). There are a couple foods you must avoid,,and you can’t be in the sun a long time when using this product.
To become depressed is human,,,Life is too short,,,get the help you need.
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